Resourceful States for Long Term Goals
You are engerised by certain things and others not so much, aren’t you?
These are personal to you, and sometimes the little things, which will lead you to your big goals, are so unappealing that they don’t get done for a long time if at all. So, wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could access specific emotional states which help you value future goals over short-term ones? One of the amazing aspects of NLP coaching is quick transitions to more resourceful states - angry to calm, sad to happy, distracted to focused, etc. More on this later…
Recent research carried out by David Desteno - professor of psychology at Northeastern University (USA) - discovered that motivation comes more easily in certain emotional states. Motivating yourself through graditude, compassion and pride are powerful agents when it comes to achieving your long term goals. According to Peter Salovey, Professor of Psychology and President, Yale University, and co-discoverer of emotional intelligence - “Anyone who hopes to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life should read this book. DeSteno reveals the hidden power of “prosocial emotions,” feelings like pride (but without hubris), gratitude, and compassion. He relies on research rather than anecdote to convince us that these emotions underlie grit and emotional intelligence.”
So, why are these “prosocial” emotions the bedrock for building good habits, and consequently result in the achievement of long term goals?
Well, let’s take a look at gratitude first and the results of a replicable experiment looking at short term rewards vs long term goals. Before you acknowledge this concept, think as if you are a student. There’s a big party this weekend but at the same time you know that in a month or so there is an important exam. Decisions, decisions, eh? An experience which may very well be fun versus something which may lead to a better way of living for years to come.
The experiment carried out was to do with money - a gift of $100 a year from now or $_ _ now. Without linking the gift to gratitude, $17 now was the average value for giving up $100 a year from now. Curiously enough, when participants were feeling grateful because something lovely had happened to them just before, the value rose to $31. This indicates that people value future rewards more when feeling grateful. Similarly, compassion and pride play a role in effort and time dedicated. The average results showed that if you feel compassionate about something - regardless of being related to your task - you will give it 40% more of your attention and time. Feeling proud could be about your previous achievements, overcoming adversity, or even ‘paying it forward’ which for many means giving something you have learned/acquired back to society.
When some gives you a genuine smile, most often you subconsciously smile back, don’t you? It is the same with gratitude and the right sort of pride, as these prosocial emotions trigger compassion in others. And as a result, the energy and drive to get things done builds and builds. Truly, an amazing and worthwhile natural phenomenon which engenders feeling more motivated for those small and consistent efforts which bring your ultimate goal closer to being realised.
So, how can NLP be used with these prosocial emotions?
If you haven’t heard of anchoring or streamlining of strategies (powerful NLP techniques) yet, here is a little description of how they work.
Anchoring - is the association of touch, images or sound to an emotional state. For example, the coach facilitates the link for the client between a desired emotion and say your index finger and thumb touching. Once this tactile response is locked in, the client can access the state any time they like just by pressing their thumb and middle finger together.
Streamlining of Strategies - strategies are the specific steps we do to achieve something, e.g., tying your shoelaces, cooking pasta to writing a report. These involve several automatic steps which we are not always aware of. The coach elicits these steps, and if some of the steps aren’t as productive as the client would like, they can be modified or replaced.
With these two powerful NLP techniques, the coach can link the prosocial emotions into the tasks which were less appealing. Potentially, the coach may reveal to the client that some reactions to specific steps are demotivating and then anchor in the feeling of gratitude, pride or compassion.
Work with me
So, if you want to, would like to, have got to, or even choose to prioritise tasks which will make you goals a reality, but are feeling demotivated, book a free 20-minute consultation with me and learn more about how I can facilitate the changes you desire.
Copyright © 2022 - Malcolm Barlow - NLP Coaching - All Rights Reserved
